NCOTC: NPR and Christiane Amanpour

Morning Routine: I don’t sleep well, but I finally get out of bed at 7 a.m. In one hour I get my son and myself up and ready. I listen to NPR, and I keep turning it on and off, depending on what is appropriate for my son. I walk out the door at 8 a.m.

-from today's NYT interview with Christiane Amanpour

Maybe I'm not clear on the concept here or maybe Christiane isn't clear on NPR. My first thought was, she's 53, her son can't be that young; he can't possibly be a kindergartner. After a second of research, I found that he's about nine years old. What in the world is on NPR that is inappropriate for a nine year old? Is she scared of the liberal media warping his young mind? Did Morning Edition do a segment on furries? Sexting? Whatever filth Renee Montaigne's spewing on the radio, where I come from, there's not much you don't know about at that age. Sure, you may not know how to manage that knowledge, but it's there.

Then I finished the article (I have a tendency to react before actually gathering all information - this is what stupid people do, forgive me). Amanpour mentions that she doesn't let her son watch television news. It's kinda crazy that a woman who bases her professional life on informing the world about current affairs wouldn't let her young son have access to the same information. Either way, the boiserie in her apartment is divine and at least she's listening to NPR, however saucy the station is.

NCOTC: Kanye

I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s autograph. I am a proud non-reader of books. I like to get information from doing stuff like actually talking to people and living real life.
—Kanye West, promoting his book “Thank You and You’re Welcome.”

One might say Kanye West isn't clear on a lot of concepts. I think that when he noted that, "George Bush doesn't care about black people," he had it pretty right on, what he wasn't clear on was the appropriate factor - that he was on TV, next to a Canadian (Mike Myers) and raising money for Katrina victims. But then again, it worked in my house. My mom immediately ran to the phone to donate in support of Mr. West.

I feel the above quote better highlights a few of Kanye's weaknesses. Number one, that he thinks books have the ability to autograph... anything. Number two, that he is proud of being a non-reader, i.e. he is a proud ignoramus. Fine, call me an asshole, but if you don't read and you actually know how to, you're a waste of space. I mean, you're reading this right now, so I'm obviously not targeting you, Mr./Ms. Actively Literate, but come on. You don't have to live in a library, but it's important to remember, books are brain food! This is the world we live in Kanye, and reading is a part of it. Since you don't read, this is all lost on you.

I think Kanye's biggest problem here, his number three, is that he is promoting his OWN book. He's talking trash about books and reading, yet he's trying to sell a book. I couldn't put it better than Dave Cowen for The New Yorker. His article "Live Your Life" is hilarious and brilliant and is very, very clear on all of the concepts.

-EAT

NCOTC: Faces of Meth Poster - For Sale?

I noticed something interesting on the official Faces of Meth Web site... It's down near the bottom of the page - they state "sorry, posters are not available for purchase." To me that indicates that people are TRYING to order a meth-face poster. They are not clear on the concept of HIDEOUS, AWFUL, HORRIBLE things that do not need to be made into posters.

-AC

NCOTC: Where's Your One-Eyed Trouser Snake?

I stole this NCOTC from World of Wonder. The original post is called:

MODERN FAMILY'S JESSE TYLER FERGUSON COMPLETELY MISSES THE POINT OF GUYS WITH IPHONES.

I have no idea who this guy is, but I do know what Guys with iPhones is all about (please do not open this link while you're at work, in front of children, homophobic house pets or when you're feeling inspired to show off your junk. Put the iphone down). Basically, it's a bunch of photos of dudes who are showing off how hot or, more often, how not-hot they are. This is usually done by taking a picture of themselves while looking in the mirror and looking "sexy," oh, and of course there is an iphone featured in each shot. Whoopee! It's interesting because of its minorly pornographic content and for certain anthropological reasons. This guy up there is like a few others on the site who are NCOTC of Guys with iPhone. I don't know how else to explain it, it just seems so obvious. Guys with iphones are supposed to be holding their dicks in their hands. Try again.

-EAT

NCOTC: Activism and the Right

These idiots calling themselves "activists" (they're same ones who dressed up as pimps and made the ACORN scandal) were arrested for trying to break into a democratic senator's office in New Orleans. I think they need to have "activism" explained to them again.
Read about it here.

To clarify the concept of activism, please click here.

-AC

Not Clear on the Concept: an Introduction

Every day, millions of people make the grave error of assuming they know what they are talking about when in actuality, they have not a clue. These people are the cause of tense and awkward situations, creepy, silent pauses, the sound of lone laughter misunderstood by everyone else in the conversation, and horrified stares. This, and so much more, is the result of being not clear on the concept.

We two are dedicated to bringing these moments into the light and displaying them here on the internet. It's not that we enjoy the misunderstandings that generate bad jokes, but we hope that by showing them to the world, the world will learn to know what the world is saying before the world says anything. We’re also looking also for interesting and funny examples of people trying to address an unclear concept in a way that amuses us or makes us question. We’re not all simple, sometimes things are just not that clear!

NCOTC continues in the vein of such people as Damon Wayans, whose In Living Color character Oswald Bates taught us to think about that big word before we used it. Also, it reflects upon Indigo Montoya's brilliant line in The Princess Bride where he notes Vizzini's use of the word inconceivable, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Think of us what you will, but we're just trying to stay clear on the concept.